Category Archives: Stevie Bumpfries

Stevie Bumpfries tells Lady Lydia to get a job

   

Stevie Bumpfries, who is the only decently-earning member of the Lady Lydia family, is a little bit different from the traditional cast of the rest of his family. But only a wee bit different, mind you! He also wants a 10-children bearing, Victorian-woman cum husky-prairie-girl to greet him at home with pie and dumplings at the end of a hard day of labour! Typical of LAF manly-men!

The story goes: 
Cousin Lee said several years ago, when he was living at the house, that Ma should go to McDonald’s and get a minimum wage job, and hoist the old family up a bit more. “Who would make your lunch, clean your room, clean the bathrooms, do your laundry, find your hunting accessories and power bait, iron your shirts, and make you dinner when you got home?” asked Ma.
“Well, you would!” replied Cousin Lee.
“After working all day on my feet at McDonald’s?”
“Sure!”
Ma rolled her eyes. There went her son’s marriage prospects– no woman would put up with such slavish treatment! (By the way Stevie Bumpfries is still not married. Interested heiresses with immodest fortunes can apply) But instead she replied “No, I’ll be coming home and playing video games all evening” (which happened to be Cousin Lee’s favorite thing to do after work).

I think the story would be more effective if it read:
Stevie Bumpfries: Why can’t you get a job, mom, instead of lazing around the job? How about a minimum wage job at McDonald’s? Hoist the family a bit?
Lady Lydia: “Who would make your lunch, clean your room, clean the bathrooms, do your laundry, find your hunting accessories and power bait, iron your shirts, and make you dinner when you got home?” 
Stevie Bumpfries:“Well, you would!”
Lady Lydia: “After working all day on my feet at McDonald’s?”
Stevie Bumpfries:“Sure!”
Lady Lydia“No, I’ll be coming home and playing video games all evening”
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