Tag Archives: Biblical Womanhood

Submission as a revolutionary calling?

I Blame the Patriarchy tells us what is wrong with women thinking submission is the pathway to heaven.

“It’s called, as reported by AlterNet, The Patriarchy Movement. Like all patriarchy movements, it mixes godbaggery and misogyny, and apparently blames feminism for the “wimpy theology that has turned modern god-fearin’ women into basket cases “whose hearts are broken over the gender confusion and the spiritual and emotional and relational carnage of our day.” Fans of submission in the weaker sex are calling for a return to “biblical womanhood,” which I guess means spending the day washing their husbands flowing robes on rocks. AlterNet warns us not to laugh too hard at the so-called True Women, because their numbers (6000 Christian submissives convened in Chicago last year to discuss how great things were for women in the 1950s) are too big to ignore, but Jesus in a jetpack!”


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Queen of Net on Lydia, Mr Bumpfries & LAF

The Queen of Net has a great article on Ladies Against Feminism.

We are for maidenhood,

All praise to the holy hymen, amen.
modesty, virtue,
A woman in each kitchen, six children in each nursery. Unless you’re in Utah, I guess.

i.e. the ability to say, “I do” and then “Yes, sir”.
womanly arts and femininity. Join the new revolution!

But do it quietly, after you’ve finished cooking for the menfolk and asked their permission to join. If they say no, retire smiling to your bedchamber and have another baby. That is, after all, the true essence of women, and is lovingly detailed in the article.”
Coming closer to home what they had to say about Lady Lydia’s son-in-law is more interesting.
Mr Aiden Humphrey‘s frightfully, stupid article at LAF called Skandalon, comes under criticism.

Queen of Net says: You have to feel sorry for these people. I guess if I was saddled with a moniker like Mr Aiden Humphrey-Bughum, I’d be crabby and miserable too.
Aiden Humphrey says: These are young men and women with all the potential in the world, but parts of their lives are sort of up for grabs right now; their private lives are exposed and vulnerable to sin; here and there they sit on the fence between the call of Jesus Christ and the call of the world; they’re blessed by God in many ways; but Satan has the scent of their souls in his nostrils; and fence-sitters are easy prey; they’ve got corruptive influences in their lives; maybe they are out from under the protection of your authority; maybe their friends have less than the best motives; maybe its something that they are just experimenting with; maybe they think they are just playing with sin, and that when they let go of it; it will let go of them.

Queen of Net says: Dear Mr Humphrey-Bungum,

Even if you think a period (.) is something shameful and womanly, please attempt to use one more often.
And he doesn’t just hang out in New York City or LA… Satan gets around; I’ve got reason to believe that he’s been in Oregon recently.
The cloven footprints all over Portland, the smell of sulfur… it could have just been a cow-herd migration. But Aiden Humphrey-Bungum knew better. Follow the adventures of this intrepid Christian sleuth as he tracks the Devil Himself to… Utah!

Aiden Humprey says: There are lives he’s ravaged that bear his signature misery…

Queen of Net says: Satan’s signature is “misery”? Does Stephen King know?

Aiden Humprey says: I want to show you stories of young people who trusted in the LORD for their future husband or wife, and they have love stories that would make you want to laugh and cry at the same time; stories that are better than any romance novel you could hope to read.
Queen of Net says: Oddly enough, they don’t seem to sell as well.

Aiden Humprey says: God is the author of romance;

Queen of Net says: Though He writes under the name Genevieve Olivetta Delafontaine.
If you want to savor the seasons of the heart, let God write your love story; one chapter into it, and you won’t be able to put it down…
Because this author doesn’t take criticism very well?

Aiden Humprey says: But ladies, the Lord has said that if… you are going to keep dressing in such a way as to entice men to commit fornication or adultery with you, then it would be better for a millstone to be tied around your neck and for you to be cast into the sea.
Queen of Net says: Except such a woman would most likely be a witch, so she’d float, and then she’d have to be burned. And this would still be a far, far better thing than destroying.

Aiden Humprey says: The Purity of Men
Queen of Net says: Yes, it’s by Mr. Humphrey-Bungum again. Bungum one for me, Aiden!

Aiden Humprey says: Our God is a wonderful Father, He is the Daddy every boy dreams of.

Queen of Net says: Ah, those must be the kind of dreams that leave embarassing stains afterwards.
Aiden Humprey says: It is a man’s foremost and sweetest privilege to be one with his Daddy, his Abba, his Father in heaven.
Men, do not attempt to achieve this blissful oneness with your Daddy or Father on earth. Save it for the only One who cares.
How natural it is to turn to Him for every little thing. But how unnatural to turn to the Holy One with the flame of lust.
When the Holy One wants you in His arms, trembling with passion and need, the Holy One will let you know! Until then, please don’t bother Him.
Not surprisingly, then, one of the world’s commonest ways of putting a wedge between a child of God and his Father is to encourage women to dress immodestly. Even after we shut our eyes in prayer, Dear Father, the lurid images linger on.
Queen of Net says: As we all know, men have no imagination, so if women only dressed modestly, men would think of them as, well, other men. But if women don’t take this excellent advice, something very bad may happen, as coyly implied in Brian Sullivan’s article

And then unveiling our Master Writer: Lady Lydia.

The Queen of Nets says on the Lady Lydia Speaks column:

“is peppered with pictures of Victorian women, so we all know what God wants us to wear.”

Lady Lydia Speaks: Here are some things that are not feminine: Clothing with holes in it revealing parts of the skin.
Queen of Net says: This includes those very large holes through which women show off their heads.
Lady Lydia Speaks: Which is better: to cause an accident because a woman was so scantily dressed that someone was distracted and stumbled or drove his car into a post, or to cause a man to think of heaven because she was so carefully and finely clothed?
Queen of Net says: Man : A woman in a Victorian dress! With a hat! She reminds me of the Lamb of God already! Bleat for me, darling!
I’ll leave you with one final piece of wisdom from Lady Lydia :
The Bible says that the ant gets food ready in the summer to store in the winter. It does this without a ruler or a boss or an overseer.
Hmm, Ladies Against Feminism obviously forgot to plug the “intelligence” module into this drone, though she’s got the modesty and christianity programs functioning overtime.
In summary, hell would be far preferable to being forced into the distorted, grinning anachronism that is apparently considered to be the apex of femininity by these “ladies”.
Their ideal woman would be a corseted doll with her hands on the bible and her feet in the birthing stirrups, assuring you over and over again that, “It’s a good life.” Thanks, but I’ve already read The Handmaid’s Tale. Now there’s the kind of romance novel the Christian God might write.

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