Tag Archives: The Unpleasant Times

Letters to the Editor or The Rudenx series at The Unpleasant Times

Since rude comments or any comments are unwelcome at The Unpleasant Times, we have to make do with the Letters to the Editor column. Lollybeth is a lot more fun and a lot more humorous than her mom Lady Lydia.

Letters that do get published are of course duly censored by Lollybeth for form and content.

What if there are not enough nice letters?

Lollybeth says: “Since we did not get enough mail to publish letters from last month, I will have to make some up. Any mail received in the month of August will be published at a later date when I have more mail to add to it. Until then, we thank you for your very great patience and continuing interest in The Unpleasant Times.”

Ms Uspishus asks: Dear Editor, Are your letters to the editor real or just made up?

Lollybeth says: Dear Miss Uspishus,

That depends on who sends the letter.

Rudenx asks: Dear Editor,

I think it is very mean of you to spy on your neighbors. Just because they aren’t as rich as you are doesn’t mean they are beneath you. Also, I think that this letter to the editor business is ridiculous. I think you should open comments and let us have our say, without your just picking and chooseing which things you want to post (which are always just the cheerleaders of your blog). -Rudenx

Dear Rudenx those poor Bumfries are actually Lollybeth’s family!

Lollybeth says: Dear Rudenx,

Rich? Well, in a way:)

I’m afraid you wouldn’t be happy if I did open comments–they would be moderated. Then I would get a lot of those anonymous dares: “I know you are not going to post this” with added insults. This blog strives to be as stress-free as we can make it! -The Editor

On her hyper-critical article on people sporting body piercings and tattoos,

Lollybeth says: We received a letter from a reader, which we do not have permission to publish, concerned that perhaps our Etiquette Expert was not promoting compassion in her recent post on piercings. She would like to assure our readers that she indeed has great compassion for the poor people who have holes in their ears, would like to see the practice abolished, and may publish more on this subject in the future.

RudenX says:

I am fed up with your blog. You don’t let the rest of us have our say. I think I have the right to be heard at all times. You only post what you want to post. Your “etiquete expert” is rude, the movie reviews are boring (of course–they are boring movies you are reviewing) and you are obviously biased about a lot of things. Why don’t you keep your fluffy mind busy with housework!

P.S. I know you probably will not publish this, but oh well, you’re “Letters to the editor” are probably all made up anyway. I’m not sure I’ll be back in the future. -RX

Lollybeth says: The Unpleasant Times needs a User Agreement. You know, a few dozen paragraphs in small print…some light reading to go with your morning coffee. That way you would have fair warning as to what you are in for when you read this blog, you will know your rights and responsibilities, and be informed of mine as well.

There are always other places to go on the web, you know, that would be more agreeable to you, and where you can have your say, but we would miss you every month if you didn’t drop by!

The authors of the various Letters to the Editor know who they are, and I do try to protect their privacy by initials, etc. 

RudenX says:

Your crafts look so tacky. Why don’t you just give up and go and buy something.

Lollybeth says:  Dear Ms. Rudenx,

I hope that you will consider buying a copy of “Stuff I made with Garbage,” by my mother (and perhaps myself) which I hope will be published in the upcoming year. We’ll even sign a copy for you. And if that does not tickle your fancy for shopping, be sure to check out the poster store and books at the bottom of the page!

Rudenx says:

I can’t get over your obsession with tea parties and tea cups. It is so funny. There is more to life than tea. Why don’t you try a beer? You need to get out and socialize with other people than your family. Liven up!

Lollybeth says: Dear Rudenx,

Thank you for your concern, but I think I will just stick to tea parties, if you don’t mind! I guess you will mind, but at least you can be amused every time you think about it!

I would prefer a hot pot of tea with friends, who provide lively, uplifting and intelligent (and innocent) conversation to any buzz or hangover a beer would give me. Tea parties are a wonderful way to socialize! Tea parties with the family are a pleasure! And I am sure I have never seen anyone who exclusively visited with their family, though I am sure that many would prefer the company of their family to many social events the world has to offer them.

Rudenx says:

Your opinions make me ill! Your advice is terible. You people are sick!

Lollybeth says:

Dear Ms. Rudenx,

Well, there are those seasonal “bugs” that go around. However, overall I think we have been in excellent health this Summer. I hope you get to feeling better soon! Could it perhaps be something you ate?

Rudenx says:

The way you go on and on about that child makes me nauseous. Why don’t you get that kid out of those ugly dresses and into some pants where she can actually get up and do something! You remind me of those mothers who put makeup on their daughters and put them in beauty contests. I feel sorry for her having a family like yours.

Oh, and I think your rug looks like it has been chewed on by the dog. I sure won’t be making one of those!

Lollybeth says:

Dear Rudenx,

You certainly are under no obligation to make the rug (we call it “folk art”)!

Regarding the baby: I have posted pictures of Miss Lillian in pants twice on this blog. But I am afraid your theory did not hold true in those instances, she didn’t get up an do anything, she just sat there. And I do not have to put makeup on the baby, she is blessed with a flawless complexion that needs no man-made help.

We have no need to take the baby to a beauty contest, as we just had our own. Yes, it is true. We crowned her “Miss Humphrey” this afternoon. She won’t ever have to go to any other beauty contest. Of course, she had an edge, having no competition for the title, and her father does run the contest so there was probably some partiality there. But there was no one to be disgruntled about this, as there were no losers! She also won in all the categories, including “best two front teeth.” I’m not sure that any other beauty contestant could win with only two teeth! And all judges agree that she won in the “roly poly” category as well!

 

 

Rudenx says:

Editor,

I found it interesting that you would post a picture that looks like “modern art.” If you read your mother’s blog it seems like your family is prejudiced against it.

Lollybeth says:

Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss Rudenx,

The pictures by our in-house artist are sort of modern, since he was only born a few years ago. All of our artists improve day by day with practice, and I keep them on staff so that they can eat (you know about starving artists and all that). Perhaps someday we will have another Leighton, in a few years when they have really perfected their skills.

You might be looking at the pictures (particularly the early portrait of Miss Lillian) with an eye skilled in Modern Art. You might be thinking that it really portrays the frustration of the artist and the subject, the way the strokes vary with intensity and the arms are drawn in an aggressive stance. Or, you may be thinking that this portrait shows the feeling of freedom that the artist feels in the way he drew the feet flat and pointing to the left, or perhaps expressed the carefree way in which the subject wears hats.

 

Well, I don’t’ know about any of that, but I can tell you, he was very smart in observing and expressing that the baby was sort of fat, and wiggly. And he liked the idea that she would wear a purple dress and hat that he saw in a box of my baby things! And I am sure that he loves his sister and that was expressed in the drawing of her portrait.

 

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Missing KOOPs article!


Unlike her mother, Lollybeth at The Unpleasant Times does not believe in deleting rude comments, she instead never approves any comment. Every once in a while, she selects the really nice comments and posts them as Letters to the Editor – whether they are all her own invention is hard to say.

I am sure by now all of you know that Lollybeth or Lady Lydia delete their posts, which are controversial. The minute they are cornered into admitting their snobbish, racist beliefs, they immediately delete the original posts, trackback the links and pretend as if the issue never existed.
Lollybeth, following her mother’s footsteps, happily deleted a rude article on the manners of other people’s children, the minute it elicited criticism.
However, when calls for explanation are persistent, she posts one rejoinder in her Letters to the Editor column:
Missing KOOPs Article
To The Editor:
I am having a hard time understanding your KOOPs article. Could you tell me if you are serious or just trying to be humorous?
A.J.
The Editor Replied:
I have taken the KOOPs article down, I just don’t have time to reply to all the questions people have about it. It was not a dead-serious article, and perhaps some people found it humorous, but it seemed to confuse some of our readers. However it was taken, I am sure that the parent who wants to sleep in on Saturday morning, and has to answer the knock at the door from the neighbor kid at 6:30 a.m.(“Hi Mr. Jones, can your kids come out to play?”) would understand it perfectly.
If anyone is still needing the article, there is a similar one here: Experiences with Rude Kids of Other People at GroundtheHome.
Excerpts from the second KOOPs article:
Lady Lydia says:My own children were not as content or happy at home when they met other children who came and went as they pleased. The other children did not respect authority, not even mine, in my house.”

Talk about the corrupting influence of kids….The other iniquities of these kids were:

Lady Lydia says:“They dismantled the beds in my children’s rooms by taking the mattresses off the beds. Then, instead of being delighted to play with the toys that were offered to them, they wanted to get into everything that had been put away and drag every thing out from closets and shelves. They undressed the dolls and left them in a pile, pulled out all the books in shelves, threw the tinker toys, leggo and building blocks around and mixed them all up with the small toys cars, as though they were making a salad.”
“Another time I discovered that a KOOP had demolished my bathroom with their own filth. I did not want to be inhospitable, but having already had three children myself under my wing, I had plenty of those problems with them.”
And then they spoilt a birthday party by declaring a movie boring…so no more kids at the kids’ birthday parties, only well-mannered adults allowed……

Lady Lydia says: “I knew that I had to eliminate the rude KOOPs if I would keep my personality sweet and my thinking straight.
Over the years the rude KOOPs got even worse. The last rude KOOP we had in our home, would not stay and visit and enjoy the company of all of us. They wanted to get my daughter away from us (that is one clue to rebellion–they want to get your child off away from authority) and when they did manage to get her off alone, they spent a lot of time dropping hints that she was backwards.”

Watch your kids like hawks, so they don’t learn anything from others….leaving them totally unequipped and unprepared for life. 

The only difference is, with homeschooled boys, their first experience will be when they’re teenagers, and away from supervision, unlike their peers who learned how to deal with peer pressure safely back in elementary school. 

Why only boys? Because girls don’t go to college 

Lady Lydia says: My daughter wrote a funny story about this on her Pleasant Times blog, and typical of the way people think today, was accused of everything from a to z, none of it complimentary. I would suggest that if you LIKE rude KOOPS you tolerate and entertain and teach them. Congratulations if you succeed. But not everyone has the stamina or the presence of mind to do it and if they don’t like rude KOOPS they ought to have a choice. This is the era of choice, is it not? Remember the people who don’t want kids at all claim they have a choice to abort them. If it is okay to choose to abort a child, why is it so terrible to abort the neighbor children’s attempt to crowd your day, your life, and make havoc of your home? WHy do we allow abortion, which gets rid of KOOPS altogether before they even get started, but we cannot put a limit on the KOOPS that come to our door?

The treason of KOOPs:
Lady Lydia says:Lest there be any misunderstanding, this is about uninvited kids of other people. It is about kids who impose, force and insist on their way in your home. It has nothing to do with being an actual guest in someone’s home. It is about kids who think they will pal around with your kids and they don’t like authority. I could tell a story at a later date about my attempt to get one out of our daily life, but it would take too much time. I was an inexperienced mother and didn’t know what to do so I allowed this child in our lives every day and then when I discovered he was influencing my children wrongly, it was very difficult to get rid of him. He created a lot of fuss about it and so did his parents, as well as my own children. If you are a parent of young children or are homeschooling, all I can say is you do not have to wait and have your own experience in the matter. You can learn from the experiences of others. You don’t have to let kids of other people interfere with your family life.”
My God, she makes kids sound worse than Attila the Hun! Kids are the next plague in Lady Lydia’s Candyland. And this is from the woman, who claims she loves kids, loves hospitality and wants to be nothing other than a homemaker. 

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